IT issues are a cause of some arguments chez nous. When J has a problem with the PC and I attempt to help, the situation often degenerates into a bitter argument. My perception is that J won't listen, isn't following instructions, and is blaming me for everything, and not just the ineffectiveness of my solutions, but the very problem itself. J's perception as far as I can tell is that I am not explaining things well, and that I project an attitude of condescension, impatience and irritability. I have always thought this was a unique property of our relationship, but lately I have begun to think that it could apply to many male/female partner relations.
The other day at Wallingford Library, I was showing the librarian how to configure and set up her smart phone. Her IT skills are very basic. One of the things I was demonstrating was how to configure her new phone to use her home wi fi setup, so that it uses the home data allowance rather than her plan's allowance. I was asking questions about her home wi fi setup and she knew nothing -- her husband handled all of that. When I suggested she ask him for help setting it up, she said that she couldn't because it always caused arguments.
And yesterday we were at the house of a couple, K the wife and P the husband. K was attempting to email a copy of a receipt and getting into all sorts of strife. Now K is no slouch when it comes to things IT, but I have helped her out in the past with various issues that she wasn't able to manage. I have assumed that P, her husband has no interest or experience with PC problems. I was able to resolve K's problems, and as I was describing them to her husband P later, I realised that he was in fact quite knowledgeable about things IT and PC related, and he could have easily fixed K's problems.
I didn't ask, but I suspect the reason for P's non-involvement is that it leads to arguments.
But of course I need a bigger sample than three to explore if this is a facet common to relationships.
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